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Humourous Horse Industry Definitions:

Last Modified: January 24, 2001

If you've been involved in the
horse industry for a long time,
you'll definitely see the humour
in the following definitions!
 
Enjoy!

Auction:
A popular social gathering where you can change a horse from a financial liability into a liquid asset.
Big Name Trainer:
Cult leader: Horse owners follow behind them blindly, will gladly sell their homes, spend their children's college funds and their RSPs to support them - as they have a link to "The Most High Ones" (Judges).
Equitation:
The ability to keep a smile on your face and proper posture while your horse tries to crowhop, shy, and buck his way around a show ring.
Girth Sores:
Painful swelling and abrasion made at the point of mid-section by fashionable large western belt buckles.
Feed:
Expensive substance utilized in the manufacture of large quantities of manure.
Fences:
Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against, and jump over.
Flies:
The excuse of choice a horse uses so he can kick you, buck you off, or knock you over - he cannot be punished.
Gates:
Wooden or metal structures built to amuse horses.
Green Broke:
The color of the face of the person who has just gotten the Training bill from the "Big Name Trainer".
Hock:
The financial condition that a horse owner goes into.
Longeing:
A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of making the owner spin in circles - rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed, so that they get sick and pass out, so that the horse can go back to grazing.
Pony:
The true size of the stallion that you bred your mare to via transported semen-that was advertised as 15 hands tall.
Proud Flesh:
The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed in halter classes.
Overreaching:
A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of show season.
Quitter:
A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who have pulled their horses out of their barns.
Reins:
Break-away leather device used to tie horses with.
Saddle:
An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles. All feature built-in ejector seats.
Withers:
The reason you'll seldom see a man riding bareback.

The above definitions were part of a keynote speech delivered by Peter Fraser, Horse industry Specialist, and have been Web-published on this site by his request.
These definitions are thought to be public domain but will be removed if evidence to the contrary is supplied.